Wanting to Forget
by Catalina Leigh
Summary: It hadn't hit him before... Now, he was staring at concrete walls, waiting to hear his fate. *Tag to The Return**drabble*


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. :(**

 **A/N: I've been working on other stories, bits and pieces at a time, but I've been reading more than writing lately. This is just a little drabble that came out today. Set during The Return Part 1, right after they get kicked out of Atlantis. Enjoy!**

* * *

It hadn't hit him before. He'd been too busy. Making sure everything was done, packing up his own stuff, saying goodbye…it'd all kept his mind from dwelling on the fact he was never coming back to the first place he'd ever truly felt he belonged, and leaving behind people who had become his family. He was optimistic that maybe the Ancients would keep their word, and maybe — just _maybe_ — he'd be able to go back one day. But he was also a realist, and — despite what some may think — he knew how bad his luck was.

Now, he was staring at concrete walls, waiting to hear his fate. It was too eerily similar to his court martial after Afghanistan. He knew Landry didn't like him; didn't want him here. But O'Neill had already mentioned something about him having to deal with Priors instead of Wraith now, so he knew he wasn't being kicked out of the program and back into the regular Air Force. Problem was, with so many personnel all needing new jobs at once, there just wasn't enough space. Most of the expedition's international members had already been sent back to their countries of origin, with a few exceptions. Carson was working at the Mountain, but he wasn't the CMO anymore; now, he reported to Dr. Lam. McKay had already been shipped off to Area 51 — to no one's surprise; everyone wanted him out of the Mountain and away from the brass and bureaucrats as soon as possible. The military was another matter. Most were SGC veterans before Atlantis, but their previous positions had already been filled. There were just too many people, and not enough space.

So, all of the Atlantis military personnel had been ordered to take some leave. It would give them a chance to visit family and re-acclimate to being back on Earth, and get them out from underfoot while the brass figured out what to do with them all.

He just had nowhere to go. Which was why he was still sitting on the bed in the guest quarters he'd been assigned while going through all the debriefs, and staring at the walls.

It wasn't even a conscious move to pull out the cell phone he'd been issued. He wasn't even aware of what he was doing until the line was ringing.

As soon as he heard the answering click, the words were tumbling out of his mouth. "I'm back stateside and on enforced leave."

Which was how he found himself on a beach, leaning back on his arms in the sand as he watched the waves they'd been surfing for the past few hours.

The last time he'd been surfing was before he got deployed to Afghanistan. He'd missed it. It was a great way to relax, and he actually had fun. But staring out at the ocean just reminded him of what he'd lost — what had been ripped away from him.

He was brought back to the present when the weight and heat of the body suddenly disappeared from his side.

She didn't say anything — she never did — as she slowly threw her leg over his, and repositioned herself so that she was now sitting in his lap. Her hands came up to the sides of his face; her fingers intertwining with his hair. The whole time, her eyes never left his, and he felt like she could see right through him — see everything he tried to hide. She never tried to make him talk about it, and he never had to explain because she never asked. Because she understood. She _knew_.

Which is why he didn't have to say anything as he closed the space between them, moving his hands to her waist to pull her in as his lips met hers in desperation. He wanted to forget — to focus on something else. The way she matched him in force said she understood that too.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you liked it! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated!**


End file.
